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i cant do my usual vent art anymore
i know it was well liked, the blood and trippy weird shit, the shocking stuff.
i noticed i always got a few faves and no comments on those. ppl liked the aesthetic of them, but weren't very concerned about me. i've learned that the harder i scream the less people find my problems urgent. surprisingly the more shocking i made my art the less it was interpreted as a cry for help.
 

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VEEENNNTTTT AAARRRTTTTT by segmentedbody

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time to go home, stupid! by segmentedbody

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and then i didnt hide it behind blood and colors and shocking stuff.

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one time out of many by segmentedbody

and the response was quieter than ever. and i got some kind comments (which i really appreciated but i just really cant interact on that piece cause its just too much i need to stay quiet there).
im somewhere safe now, im sleeping in a bed i've never been raped in, im away from all of it.
and i just cant do it anymore. i cant do my old shock art, i cant hide behind anything anymore. but i dont want to pull it up anymore and bare it all again. it hurts too much and for once it isnt nagging me. for once it isnt holding me back and i just want to be free.
i'm not gonna dig up and exacerbate those wounds just for vent art.
i know a big part of my art appeal was the shocking intense vent art, but i'm not gonna wrench out pain just for people's aesthetic pleasure. if you followed me because you like my vent art, it'd be best to just unfollow me now.
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:iconkricketkeeper:
kricketkeeper Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
i voted for you to do more vent art because i took it as personal art and i know that i feel most connected to the art i make that's about experiences i've been through. i guess what i really wanted to see from you is art that you want to make and art that is special to you instead of seeing you take commands from other people and lose passion.

that being said, i'll be a big fan of your art no matter what you're drawing! i'm glad you're coming out and saying what you do and do not want to be drawing for the public and i respect that. and i've been a fan and i've been concerned, but i guess i didn't feel it was my place to offer apologies and ask if you're okay. but if you ever need someone to talk to, i'll be around : -)
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:iconk-ittenparade:
k-ittenparade Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2017
I'm so sorry you had to go through this but I'm so glad you're safe now
vent style art is a very difficult thing to create for fun, so it's completely reasonable that you can't do it anymore
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:iconsegmentedbody:
segmentedbody Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2017  Student General Artist
thank you ur very kind <3<3<3<3
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:iconm00nsie:
M00NSIE Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2017
sometimes people do shock art without having any sort of experience tied to it. it's a gross thing honestly, regardless of the experience or not. vent art is great, but to me it serves as a constant reminder if it's published and readily available to see.

i hope whatever trauma that ails you goes away naturally and quickly. you don't deserve it.
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:iconsegmentedbody:
segmentedbody Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2017  Student General Artist
yeah a lot of ppl see things and want to get in on it personally, even though its really not for them. vent art always helped me cause it was like it made it a tangible thing outside of me that other people could see, therefore it wasnt something only real to me. it helped, when noone would believe my mental health problems and i couldn't tell anyone about the sexual abuse. but it was never enough cause i always hid the truth behind the shock, instead of just telling the truth i instead made a visual representation of my intense feelings, i thought that if people saw my pain they would want to know the source and help me, but they didn't. when i finally just told the truth it was a relief. i think i'll be out of the tunnel soon, i just need to get the strength to get every part of it out of me. but for now i'm ok. for now i need a little peace, and i'm gonna let it simmer on the back burner.
thank u for the kind words, i rlly appreciate it <3<3<3<3<3
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July 1, 2017
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